As fascinatingly brutal as that era was, we can be grateful that Henry VIII’s and Anne Boleyn’s brief pairing gave birth to this delicious tea cake called a ‘Maid of Honour’.  The best place, according to marketing hype, to eat this is at Newens at Kew Gardens in Richmond, London.

According to folklore, Henry VIII first met Anne Boleyn when she was a Maid of Honour.  This historical event took place at his Richmond Palace, and he fell in love with her eating this dainty little pastry.  Love never tasted so sweet, and if this story has a romantic ring of regality to it, there is also a dark story attached, if you believe the myth (As printed on Newen’s website).  However, it would not be surprising if this story was true, considering Henry VIII’s reputation.

Now Henry VIII’s key achievements were plenty, not excluding breaking away from the Catholic Church, beheading 2 of his wives, of which one had a younger sister who was his mistress prior and executing tens of thousands of people (72,000+ according to a less than trustable internet source*).   His daughter, Queen Mary 1, is credited with burning around 300 Protestants to their deaths and thus, earning the nickname, ‘Bloody Mary’, to whom bar-goers and bartenders around the world pay homage to with a shake of the jigger*.   Back to the dark story……

King Henry VIII was so enamoured by Anne Boleyn and these tea cakes (He died a disgustingly obese man with a 60″ waistline), that he named them the ‘Maids of Honour’ and had the recipes AND the maid who invented them, locked up at Richmond Palace.  This creation was to be only created for himself and the royal family, presumably to be munched on whilst lounging in his backyard jacuzzi.

In a case of royal espionage almost on par with the British stealing tea secrets from the Chinese, this recipe was leaked to a Bakery at which the founder of Newens was an apprentice.  A century or so later, bada bing bada boom, we have Newen’s Maids of Honours, touting themselves to be making ‘em from the original recipe. Fantastic!

Maids of Honour are puff pastry rounds with a hollow centre filled with a lemon scented quark custard filling.  Quark is just fresh cheese also known as curds of ‘Little Miss Muffett’ fame.

Dusted with icing sugar and baked in a hot oven, I have to say that these little tea cakes are absolutely scrumptious, if a tad too sweet.  The buttery pastry and creamy curd custard so waist expandingly good, it makes you wonder how British food got its bad reputation.

This being England, and it being tea time, it is only fitting that an order of scones with raisins should grace our table.  I can never ever get bored of English clotted cream, jam and scones, NEVER.  The only sad thing is that we were served bottled jam, not a house-made one, which would have made all the difference.   This was good nonetheless, but not overwhelmingly so.

In the end, everyone should plan a day out to Kew Gardens for their magnificent foliage and make a short trip to Newens for lunch or tea.  I’ve been told that their chicken pie is particularly delicious.  Newens is definitely a destination place for any foodie who finds themselves in London for if I had a Newens here, I’d defo be a regular!

Newens – The Original Maids of Honour

Nearest Tube/Train Station: Kew Gardens

Directions from Station: Cross the bridge over the station, follow the directions to Kew Gardens.  At the T-junction with Kew Gardens in front of you turn right and keep walking about 5 minutes.  You will pass Newens on the right.

*If the journalists of today can make up facts and figures and take sides to sensationalize news, so can I in fabricating stories.

Morocco and indeed, the continent itself since the earliest of times has seen its fair share of bloodbaths from invading Europeans, so it should come as sweet revenge that the ‘Moors’ managed to annex a part of Spain over a warring period lasting some 800 years.  This is according to my oracle of truth, St Wiki.  This Moorish part of Spain was known as Al Andalus, and the global table owes a debt of gratitude to these ‘invaders’ as they introduced sophisticated farming techniques like irrigation and rice farming, along with their architectural style that has merged over time into unique, Spanish Mediterranean designs.

The Moors brought Arroz Bomba (Paella rice), almonds and spices amongst many other things to Al Andalus.  Probably the most notable of these are Arroz Bomba and this curious horticultural bulb called Saffron.  Marry the two togather and we have Paella, so often badly represented globally by charlatans in the kitchen passing off shit as Paella.  The best Paella I’ve ever had by the way, was at Restaurante Monastrell in Alicante on the Costa Blanca.

The regions of Valencia and Murcia were part of Al Andalus, and whilst their ancestors would have lived in constant fear of marauding attackers from the South, the modern Valencians and Murcians fear crop pests, unemployment and legions of hard-grafting latinos.   Peaches, apricots, citrus fruits and figs now dot the roads in this sparse, hilly region and in thanks to the Moors for their contribution, they’ve come up with a smashing fiesta.

The Fiesta de Moros y Cristianos is when all and sundry line the streets to take part in an orgy of colour and sound.  In celebration of the end of Moorish occupation in Spain, this festival commemorates their expulsion with lots of drinking, eating and street partying.  I wonder how many of Moorish descent actually take part in these celebrations.

This is quite a big event held at different times in different cities throughout the region (End of April), and you get different groups of paraders, dressed in exaggerated medieval finery.   It was really cool when the ‘Moorish’ representatives marched by accompanied by ‘Darth Vader’ like music.

I can see why this is one of the biggest events in city’s annual calender because in these secluded places, life is really different from what we are used to in big cities.  In the sleepy town of Monovar, the bullfight was the biggest spectacle and talking point for weeks prior and after. Participants prepare for the whole year waiting for this day to take part in some Spanish pride.  I’m sure if they win the world cup this year, there’ll be a marching contingent of football players in 2011!

This was one of the highlights of my time working in Spain, as life consisted of work, eat and sleep.  Ecuadorian friends brought my flatmate, Joel and me to this festival, a welcome break from our mundane existence in a lonely apartment on Monovar’s outskirts.  How pathetic was it that in this town of 12,000, we lived right on the edges on the way to Elda, a bustling city about 15 mins away by car?  You can just imagine how much fun we had after a period of deprivation!

A fun time was had by all of us, and we ended the night with some Spanish tapas and San Miguel.  A befitting end to a wonderful night.  To my Ecuadorian friends, Gracias por Todos.

Perhaps this luminary cemented Whitechapel’s place as a ‘special’ part of town, but really, it is a diverse, multi-ethnic area of London where you have congregations of immigrants from all over the world.  Yes, the streets are dangerous at night (Drunkards, drug addicts and pushers), but you could say that of any other street in the UK.  Well, we lived in front of Sainsbury, right next to the IdeaStore and along the stretch of the famous Whitechapel ethnic day market across Royal London Hospital. Therefore,  you could say it was in the safer part of WC that we went about our daily lives.

Besides having been the CENTRE of Britain’s H1N1 epidemic, this is also the home to the Bell Foundry, where Big Ben came from.  These historical streets have seen everything from serial killers to mob hits and more recently, Chinese people touting pirated DVDs.

Brick Lane happens to be just down the road (20 mins walk) from Aldgate Station and is home to the famous Brick Lane market and the interesting shops that throng the area.  I’d avoid the ‘curry mile’ of Indian restaurants serving up lip-smacking portions of ‘Chicken Diarrhea’, and head straight for them Beigels.

NY’ers say Bagel, Brick Laners say Beigel, and just like in 1773′s argument over a cuppa, there will be no end of the ‘our bagel is better than your beigel’ argument.  For those like me who believe in the truth of St Wiki, here’s a treatise on Beigels.

Whichever is better, I don’t really care, for as long as they are made with love and not some factory using more E-numbered ingredients that a cat has whiskers on its face, I’m there.  Here, at Beigel Bake, as in most Bagel joints, they’ve got different flavours but our sole agenda was to scoff down a Salt Beef Beigel.  I got them hunger pangs now dammit!  But first, to the Bagel…..

Starting with nothing more than good bread flour, salt, yeast, water and perhaps some oil, these mounds of dough are traditionally fermented very slowly for religious reasons (Apparently, according to St Wiki).  However, of more interest to foodies, a slow fermentation = flavour, as them yeasties and other processes of fermentation condition the dough with flavour and organic acids (i.e., yeast and bacterial shit).  This guy is heaving large rounds of dough onto a dividing plate for an automated bun dividing machine.

After shaping and final proofing, the beigels are boiled on both sides in a hot water bath.  Not being familiar with the beigel making process, it might be plausible that temperatures and alkalinity of this water solution plays a big part in the finished product.  I just love the pride in the eyes of all the people in the bakery.

If just plainly boiled, the bagel would be a tasteless, soggy affair, so into the oven it goes to firm up the surface and more importantly, to give it a nice golden sheen that contributes so much to the wonderful beigel aroma.  Maillard reactions rule!

They look so beautiful that I feel kinda stupid that I’ve never had one plain.  If anyone has an awesome Beigel recipe and cares to share it on this page, please email it to me.

Huge chunks of salt beef straight from the boiler make their debut dramatically at the front of the shop, luring all passersby into a lurid bovine fantasy.  These brined sides of brisket have been boiled till they are fall-apart tender and so damn bloody irresistable.  The knife cuts through them like butter, making the wait for your order seem unbearably long.

In the great British tradition, a healthy dollop of horseradish and mustard sauce lubricates the whole assembly.  Packed in a nondescript, brown paper bag, the uninitiated would not be faulted for wondering why every other person walking down Brick Lane seems to have one in hand.

Here’s my mate, TF, shoving it down his face.  Dense and chewey beigel gives way to a savoury, soft and flakey beef brisket punctuated with spikes of piquancy.  The only thing that was missing from this ensemble was a pint of beer!

What a way to end a day walking down Brick Lane.  Here’s to memories and I will eat you again soon, my friend!

Beigel Bake

159 Brick Lane, London, E1 6SB

Open 24 Hours

Nearest Tubes: Aldgate East, Shoreditch, Liverpool Street, Old Street

You have 2 days and 1 night in Bangkok, armed only with an iPhone and you need to eat and document some food.  What do you do?  What do you do?  Well, this is just a very small list of the places I frequent to satisfy desires and cravings.   Whether you can find these places or not…….its another question and up to your abilities to navigate your way around.  Here are some recommended eating places for those on a tight schedule:

Day 1 – Lunch

There’s no better way to start off your afternoon than at a Moo Krob joint, better known as Siu Yoke…or cantonese roast pork.   Chances are that you will go hungry if you followed this recommendation of mine, as there is no other way for a foreigner getting there than by Taxi, its in Prachachuen and my friend drives, so tough luck.

This place gets sold out by 2pm, so just salivate at what goes on here.  They’ve got 7 pots of soup on sale, and on this day, only 1 was left, a melon soup which was really tasty but not the focus of our attention.  Half a kilo of roast pork for SGD$5 for 2 of us sounded like a great deal!  The crackling is perfectly crisp and dissolves in the mouth for it has a light, airy, honeycombed texture.

The meat is soft and yielding, with the right amount of chew to get the saliva working on extracting all that porky goodness.  I would KILL to learn how to make Moo Krob like this, but I don’t think they take non-Thai speaking stagiaires!   In the back, from an ancient looking deck oven, they roast these heavenly slabs of the best Moo Krob I’ve ever come across.  Could we find better ones in Hong Kong?  I don’t really care, because Bangkok is sure as hell nicer and nearer than Hong Kong!

Day 1 – Dinner

Since you would be absolutely starving from my unfindable lunch destination, this one is way easier to find.  Its name is Sorn Thong, and its a Chinese Thai Seafood Restaurant.   If you’ve been following this blog, you know about my exaggerated exclamations for the best ‘this and that’ ever!   Its no different for me to proclaim that this is my favourite restaurant and the BEST Chinese Seafood restaurant ever!  Forget the chilli crabs and what nots in Singapore, its good, but its not everyday food.

To find Sorn Thong, ask your taxi driver to go to the end of Sukhumvit Soi 24 (Thats the Emporium road), to the MacDonalds.   The maccers is at the junction of Sukhumvit Soi 24 and Rama 4 road.  There’s a huge petrol station there with an equally huge maccers.  If you miss it, you are blind.  Get the cab to turn LEFT into Rama 4 road and drop you off about 50 metres from Macdonalds.  You cannot miss it, as its the only restaurant there with fish tanks out front.  If you happen to drive, they offer valet parking too.

On the left, is raw marinated crab, one of the best things you can ever part money for.  Not exactly for the faint of heart, but here’s what happens in this dish called Puu Kai Dong.    Take a good crab (Not them skinny blue flower crabs), brush it till its spotlessly clean, ignoring its foaming mouth.

In a pot of your special Thai mixture of fish sauce, lime juice, garlic, chilli, sugar and coriander, chuck the still writhing crustacean into the pot, cover and put in the fridge to chill.  The theory is that the drowning crab will ingest all that wonderful marinade and flavour itself from within. Not sure at what point this pickling exercise stops, but its then frozen and when its brought to our table, its been de-gilled and expertly chopped into conveniently handled pieces.

You cannot imagine how awesome this tastes……sweet, sour, spicy, salty……..

On the right is what could be also one of the best fried rices ever.  Perhaps you will have your favourite, but this flavour is sadly missing from lots of fried rices in Singapore, the ‘wok hei’, or breath of the wok.    The rice used here is a medium grain rice with the perfect texture and tastes its best when fried by the old man, AKA, the current owner’s father.   I’ve tasted this on his off day before and it pales drastically in comparison..

Sometime in the future, I will learn Thai properly just to beg to stage at this place and learn how they cook and make these 2 sauces!  Thai food is simple right?  All the ingredients are the same…..but…..its the proportions that make the magic.  These two simple chilli sauces perfectly complement every dish.

Another must have would be the salt baked sea bass.  When you enter the restaurant, there’s a grilling station out front next to the tanks, and this is where this baby is prepared.  Covered in salt and foiled before grilled to perfection, the slightly salty skin crisps gently to reveal the wonderfully soft and moist insides.  A waft of lemongrass and kaffir lime emanates from the stuffed belly cavity, making this one of the healthiest, delectable items on the menu.

In keeping with our 5 meats and 1 veg policy, we ordered a stir fried coconut shoot dish with prawns.  This is a first taste of coconut shoots and if anything, its like fresh bamboo shoots.  Nothing spectacular about this.

Another dish that gets eaten every visit here is Goong Chae Nam Pla, or raw marinated prawns.  If the raw crab doesn’t get your juices flowing, this one will!  Superbly spicy and garlicy, the addition of raw bitter melon slices just brings home the ideology behind Thai cuisine.  Sweet, sour, salty and bitter, yark kin maak!

If coconut shoots don’t strike your fancy, another veg. dish just might in the form of Pak Boong Fai Daeng, loosely translated into Red Fire Kang Kong.  This is a curiously hollow stemmed vegetable better known as Chinese Water Spinach.  When asked about the origins of this dish’s name, a street food vendor spoke passionately of a legendary colleague whose stove cooked with such ferocity that when the kang kong went into the wok with some Thai whisky, the flambé would shoot up 7 storeys high.  Frenchmen with their dainty copper sauteuses, eat your hearts out!

There is no better way to continue the night than have some beers, no, not just any beer, but Belgian beer.  Beers like Hoegaarden and Leffe are common elsewhere but in Thailand 3+ years ago, I led a very pathetic existence surviving on headache-inducing Asahi.  They had Erdinger, and as nice as it is, its not my preferred poison.

So, imagine my happiness when HOBS opened up in Thonglor, right across the road from J-Avenue.  HOBS of course, means House of Beers, and this place is awesome!  Its a pity the food is only so-so, with the fries resembling matchsticks and the nachos averagely pedestrian.   Its truly a pity, for with some good pub food, HOBS would be even more awesome than it is now!

After a night of chilling at HOBS, hunger pangs will either lead you to Sukumvit Soi 38, the usual clubber’s late night food destination, or if you are not that late, head down Ekamai to have Ba Mee Kai.  Ekamai is parallel to Thong Lor, so its a short bikey ride away.  It should be located at Ekamai Soi 19, tell the driver you want to eat Ba Mee Kai at Ekamai and they will know.

Ba Mee Kai is a Thai version of Char Siew noodles, but add a ‘Kai’ to it and it becomes a sinful after hours indulgence. Char siew noodles done the old way (With pork lard) and a whole egged cooked to molecular perfection.  Modern chefs use a thermal circulator to cook their eggs to precisely x degrees celsius for x amounts of minutes.   At this Ba Mee joint, which is actually a back of a pickup truck (Yes, that is a pickup truck!), they cook their eggs with a crappy aluminum pot and portable, gas powered stove.

There are many hole in the walls around Bangkok that draw me back time and again, and hopefully, in the near future, revisiting these places will result in more blog posts on one of the best foodie destinations in SE Asia.

This year, amidst the protests and riots that besieged Bangkok’s commercial nerve-centre, I began what could well be my last holiday in a long time.  Well, not so long, as Songkran 2011 will see me back here.

Its not a coincidence that Songkran and Easter follow each other closely, as both events are/were determined through astrological observations. Songkran is now celebrated within fixed dates, where the whole country simultaneously contributes to the coffers of Scottish distillers.

Imagine my shock when Polish colleagues in the UK told me of the water-splashing tradition during Easter in their country.  What are the chances that 2 different races, continents apart, practicing different religions would have the same practices?

Perhaps we are connected even more deeply then we think, and this short break was a great time to undo the hardships of the past 2 years on the road, relax, chill, drink copious amounts of alcohol, stuff my face with food and just do absolutely NOTHING.

This year, we drove up to Huahin, currently at the top of my ‘Places to retire to before 40′ list, a timely reminder of why one should take a chill pill now and again.

An excruciatingly hot 2 hour drive brought us to the Herbs by The Sea in Huahin, where we stayed in the Lavender room, a suite with a balcony that opened up to the sea.  Pure luxury.

In this exclusive hotel, off the road and devoid of hordes of tourists, we spent our time lounging by the jacuzzi.  Blue seas, golden sand at the doorstep, drinking whiskey and beer whilst soaking in the jacuzzi……what more could you want?

The hotel staff looked at us in shock when we started pouring drinks at 3 in the afternoon.  Now, this is the hottest time of the year, with the mercury hitting 40 degrees celsius, so venturing out would be risking heat stroke!  Better to stay indoors and do what comes naturally…..drink!

With a view like this from where we were, why would you need any other reason to venture into the hot, crowded streets full of tourists?  This was our little private stretch of Huahin’s crowded beaches, a little piece of paradise, chicken soup for the soul perhaps?

When we did venture out (To eat and buy alcohol and snacks), a cacophony of colours greeted us at every corner.  Everyone was out in their holiday garb, splashing water, having a whole load of fun and not having a care in the world.

Now, this was supposed to be a country bogged down by a political crisis, a battle between the rural poor and ruling elites.   All class differences disappeared on this day, and fun was to be had by one and all.

No one is safe from water and flour, so if you intend to venture out , be prepared for a soaking and leave your valuables at home.

For those of you who like staying nice and dry, just lock yourself in the car and drive around.  I would not recommend taking a new car for this purpose.

To be honest, our interest did not really lie so much in spraying water at unsuspecting strangers.  We were more interested in the food, so our only ventures outside of The Herbs by the Sea, was to Cha-Am, about 15 minutes drive away, to this fantastically hidden treasure of a roadside restaurant named J’Daeng.  This was the best Thai food I’ve had in Thailand outside of Sorn Thorng restaurant in Bangkok.  Tough luck to any foreigners trying to find this place.

Clockwise from top right are a stingray tom yum, stir fried wild boar and spicy local clams.   The stingray was a bit forgettable as the taste of ammonia was detectable.  The wild boar was a lesson in textures, as it had soft meat, melting fat and a slightly crunchy and chewy top-skin.  This was like eating pig’s ears, but fattier!  The clams were little morsels of heaven, eaten with fluffy Jasmine rice.

Clockwise from top right, we had shark and prik Thai (fresh green peppercorns) stir fry, river sweet-fish in a sweet sour soup and 1/2 raw prawns in a Thai herb salad.

The shark here was absolutely amazing in its melting tenderness that burst with strong flavours of spice.  The fish soup was refreshingly spicy (This is Thailand after all!), and once again, the fish was cooked perfectly, tender and falling off the bone.

Just like how one remembers where they were when JFK was assassinated or when those planes crashed into the Twin-towers, gluttons like myself remember mind-blowing moments when what we just put in our mouths totally blows our minds.

This prawn dish has changed my life, no bullshit.  I will return to Huahin just to eat this dish.  Prawns just swirled in boiling water to tighten them up a bit, they are dressed with a Thai style vinaigrette of lime, fish sauce and sugar.  Added into this mix is a herbal salad of shallots, holy basil, lemongrass, kaffir lime and tiny green chillies packing an explosive punch.  I mistook these chillies for little green bean segments and wondered why my mouth was on fire.

The flavour of the herbs, the sweet/sour/salty dressing and smackingly fresh prawns made this a ‘where have you been all my life’ moment.  I can only think of 2 other occasions where something in my mouth has affected me this deeply.  This was THAT ridiculously good.

We ate almost all our meals at J’Daeng’s restaurant, and we had another rendition of shark.  Still tender, still absolutely delicious!  The prawns…..OMFG the prawns again!  I crave it as this is being typed.

Well, that was one of the best short holidays ever, and after putting on a few kilos, we made our way back to Bangkok, where more eating awaited us.  There, I visited my favourite restaurant, IMO the best place to eat in Bangkok.  Stay tuned!

A few continents, delayed flights and man on train tracks delayed this long awaited meal at St John for a few years.  Any restaurant that has the balls (pun intended) to serve the spare parts of any animal drives me wild.  Booked a few weeks in advance, finally, we had a chance to see if its been a meal worth waiting this long for.

Roasted bone marrow and parsley salad is a must have at St John.  Who gives a rat’s ass about BSE, coz this IS THE BULL’s BOLLOCKS.  One cannot describe how great this tastes.

People think that pates and terrines are the domain of the French, but these preparations have existed on the British isles for centuries.  What the French called Fromage de Tete de Porc, the British call Brawn.  What the French call a Civet de Lièvre, the British called Jugged Hare, basically, a hare stewed in wine and its own blood.

Here, we have a Hare Terrone, roughly chopped bits of bugs bunny (I would like to think, inclusive of the spare parts), bound togather by a flavourful aspic jelly.  The gherkins are not there for decoration, as they provided crunch and acidity.  These gherkins probably did not come out of a bottle, as they were odd-sized and most importantly, did not have that metallic taste of bad vinegar.  These crunchy bits were macerated in good quality vinegar that didn’t make you pucker.

Crab mayonnaise on house made sourdough bread.  St John’s in house bakery churns out really great, authentic breads and this sourdough toast was no exception.  This crab DID NOT come from a pasteurized can as most restaurants who serve any mashed crab use.  This was fresh crab, either steamed or boiled, with the meat painstakingly hand picked.  The mayo was not from some industrial sized tub in the fridge.  Simple, honest and absolutely delicious.   Behind this dish lies a lot of hard work, unseen to the customer.

This attractive looking dish is rolled pig spleen, and its got a great crunchy texture that melts in your mouth.  The flavour of the spleen is not gamey or livery but surprisingly gentle with a meat flavour with a tinge of iron.  Really really nice!  Where the heck can I get this here?????

This sexy little bird is Teal, a game bird related to ducks, which happened to be in season.  The first thing that struck me was not the bird, but the vegetables.  These veggies are not a garnish, because they really hold their own against the Teal.  Cabbage with some carrots and chard (I think), gently sauteed in butter until they were just cooked, yet crunchy.  Beautiful.

The Teal was cooked rare, and it was bloody delicious (pun intended).  Gamey, irony, livery with a tinge of bitterness, this is what meat is all about, not those tasteless parcels of protein from intensive farming.  Hands up, I am guilty of buying cheap meat from battery farming for daily meals, and that makes me really look forward and appreciate the true taste of an animal who lived a fulfilling life of freedom…..until now!

The best dish of the night goes to the Roasted Berkshire Pork.  Said to be Britain’s oldest pig breed, this heirloom breed is thankfully making a comeback, along with the more commonly known Gloucester Old Spot. If you ever go to Borough Market, you will come across a pork butchery dedicated to promoting rare breed pigs.  These are not your usual pigs.

Once again, the veggies stopped me in mid-fork, as they were so flavourful and beautifully cooked.  Being ignorant on European veggies, I think this was Chard, and damned that I can’t get this back here in Singapore. Back to the pork….

EXREMELY juicy and tender, this porker definitely had been lightly brined (Confirmed by Fergus Henderson today!), and slowly roasted till it was pink in the middle, how pork should be done.  The thing that puzzles me is how they got the crackling so honeycombed and crunchy!  This crackling was exquisite, the stuff of food porn wet dreams of porky adulation.  Slow roasting = low roasting temperatures.  Crunchy crackling + low roasting temperatures is not possible, unless its a HUGE chunk ‘o pork.

If anyone knows the secret, please let me know, I’m dying to recreate this at home with battery porkers.

Hold your breath, this is not steak, but ox heart.  Usually chewey, rubber and cooked till the death, these thin slices proved no challenge to the least adventurous person of our party.  These were probably sauteed really really quickly on a smokingly hot cast iron pan, as they were sooooooo tender and scrumptious.  This did not taste at all like offal, but offering, dare I say, hints of Wagyu?  Need to score some ox-heart….

Hey, its game season, so this Patridge ain’t nestling in some pear tree anytime soon.  This sexy bird was more akin to duck then it was to the Teal before.  However, it was cooked rare and you could taste that this was a bird from the wild.  Its intriguing that the two sexy birds that night tasted so different from each other, and though really delicious to me, they might be a challenge for less adventurous eaters.

Isn’t it sad that we are so used to commercially produced meat that we no longer have the stomach for the real thing?  Its unrealistic to think the world could change to such a diet, but we should really have a more open mind to food and treat ourselves to the real thing once in a while.  Its a pity really, but with more of Europe undergoing the ‘Slow Food’ movement, I hope this ideology would flow over to Asia and perhaps we can start appreciating how real food should taste like.

Chef Laurent Martin and his wife toiled for almost a decade as a 2 person team before being awarded 1 Michelin Star.  This is really an amazing achievement when you realise that they did everything from gardening to washing up.  Compare this to other restaurants with a brigade in a kitchen churning out food of a lower level.

This boils down not only to cooking skill, but the mindset, creativity and exceptional organizational skills of Laurent and his wife, Natalie.  Using traditional cooking techniques and combining them with new technology and science, La Frairie combines the best of both worlds in expressing their own style of cuisine.  Here are a couple of their dishes which might be offered on the menu.  If you are expecting a similar menu when dining there, don’t hold your breath, as it changes very often.

Take for example, this celebration of the humble carrot.  Different varieties of organically grown carrots bursting with natural flavours.  How much simpler can it get right?  Well, when you realise that the carrots have been vacuum infused with flavours and pressure steamed, it gets a bit more complex.

Traditionally, carrots are blanched in water, leaching their vitamins and flavour in the process, more often then not, resulting in a limp taproot devoid of flavour and nutrition.  Steamed under pressure however, and the carrots get cooked extremely quickly without having their cellular structures excessively denatured.  What you get is a cooked, yet crunchy carrot that retains all its flavours and goodness.  This is indeed a celebration of nature.

Just as it takes a lot of skill to produce amazing food like El Bulli or Mugaritz, it also takes tremendous skill to let the ingredients express themselves naturally.  For amuse-bouche, we have a parmesan spherification with house-cured salmon, the most unctous and flavourful creme citron I’ve ever tasted with wild rice puffs.

What better way to celebrate the winter season for game then with cured wild duck from Sologne?  Hung to cure in the chilly back-kitchen, this slice of heaven was an educational experience in how a duck should taste.

And just for pure luxury, how about some in-season snow crab and caviar?  I’d like to draw attention to the green leaves, that look simply like some salad leaves.  However, these have been vacuum marinated in a flavoured oil, turning it an amazing jade, crisp salad green with the nuances of sauteed vegetables.  All this richness is washed down with a wonderfully pungent celery ice cream.  Now THAT is a starter to die for!

A dramatic looking dish with pan seared scallops covered in activated charcoal powder, almond cream, fried artichokes and slices of raw Jerusalem artichokes vacuum infused with garlic oil.  Everyone knows charcoal power is good for your insides, but its very very slight earthy taste complements the crunchy artichokes.  The light almond cream’s natural sweetness really draws out the natural flavours of the scallop.  Such complementary flavours, colours and textures in a simple format betray the thought and inspiration behind this dish.

A stuffed sole slowly poached sous vide until it is just cooked and disintegrates in the mouth.  The precision with which it is cooked means that customers might think that it is still raw, but in actuality, its cooked how nature intended it to be.  The fish itself is so juicy and tender that instead of a sauce, a fish fumet ‘veil’ plays an integral role in bringing the sea to the dish.  Under it rests some bulgar saute with a citrus edge.  Once again, a very simple looking dish with lots of stuff going on behind the scenes.

Venison takes centre stage and it is cooked sous vide at a low temperature until it is rare throughout, coated in a house-made mole spice blend and then browned in a hot pan.  Finished with a light sprinkling of sea salt, it is accompanied by a veal reduction and pumpkin coulis studded with sliced chestnuts and dehydrated grapes.  Just close your eyes for the moment and imagine those flavours dancing in your mouth.  Its exquisite.

This is a dish that makes me go weak at the knees and a full side of pork belly was the only farewell present I craved.  Brined and cured under vacuum with herbs, the pork is very very slowly cooked for a long long time until it is as tender as jello.  It is then browned till its aromatic and crisp.  If this porky exaltation seems insufficient, fear not, for it is topped with a sliver of pig’s ear tempura!  If you gave me a choice of foie gras with truffles and champagne versus this dish with some Belgian beer, I’d get all oinked out.

Just before dessert, one can choose from several cheeses served along with beer bread and one particularly interesting cheese is Herve, from the town of the same name not too far from La Frairie.  This exceptionally stinky cheese has to be covered with a bowl to contain its pungency and I have to say, it is a pretty stinky tasting cheese that tastes quite good.  How Europeans fail to appreciate the durian,  I will never know….

Why mess with a good thing when nature gives us beautifully sweet and earthy tasting figs?  Well, in this case, a generous sprinkling of cassonade (Brown sugar, there is no non-French equivalent…no Demerara does not taste the same) and a few minutes in a hot oven gives it a luscious molasses coating.

Beds of homemade ricotta on raspberry coulis gives a bit of a sharp zing whilst a mouthful of exotica is brought by a cumin tuiles, cumin ice cream and granola crumble pimped with honey, garam masala and ras el hanout.  My mate, Juan, the sous-chef, really outdid himself on this one, as everything went beautifully togather.  This is the kind of dessert that I really like, clean flavours that are individually distinct, yet eaten togather are like ambrosia in the mouth.

After desserts (1 or 3 desserts, depending on the menu you choose) comes the Mignardise, little morsels of joy to go with your coffee.  These change all the time, but here, from front to back, we have Juan’s treasured family-recipe carrot cake with fig compote, chocolate caramels, lime loukoum, raspberry macarons with black pepper, tonka bean praline and beer caramel with salted hazelnuts.

My personal recommendation after all this food is to order a glass of dessert wine with Sureau, or elderberries.  Its a beautiful way to end the meal.

Having had an opportunity to experience Restaurant La Frairie was the highlight of my time in Brussels, as it was there that I met a truly gracious, passionate and nice to the bone family.

Merci chef Laurent et Madame Natalie pour l’expérience merveilleuse. Voyez-vous en Asie bientôt !

Its on Rue de Bac, just a short walk down from Bon Marche, which carries lots of awesome foodie things and well worth a shop.  If you are looking for DelicaBar at the Bon Marche, its not there anymore and has become an Italian restaurant.  

From the outside, its really slick and the windows display all the limited offerings within.

Its got cool interiors and props for displaying the pastries, but the question you might be dying to ask is….how does it taste???

Kouign Amann

Anything loaded with butter and sugar can’t be bad in my book, and this Kouign Amann really does take the cake (Pardon the pun).  Pronounced ‘Queen Aman’, it is a Breton specialty (From Brittany, France), and basically means Butter (Amann) Cake (Kouign).  It is not that much unlike a croissant really, only that it is denser and much more caramelised.

This Kouign Amann was crispy and beautifully browned all over, and it did not have a caramel crust like Pierre Herme’s.  The insides were bready, rich, dense, yet meltingly soft, a beautiful symphony of textures and my god……the BUTTER!  Even with pedestrian mass-market butter, it would taste good, but if using a butter from Normandy……it would taste GREAT.  My infatuation with butter borders on the obscene, so I do apologise.

This was probably the best Kouign Amann I’ve ever had, and it edged out Pierre Herme’s one only BECAUSE the one I ate at PH was purchased in the evening, meaning that it had spent the whole day on the shelves.  Conticini’s one was purchased right after he opened, so it was as fresh as it could be.  Had they both been eaten under similar circumstances, PH’s one would still reign supreme.

Nevertheless, I know now where to get a Kougin Amann fix in Paris.

Tarte Tatin

Looking at this, you would not think it was appetizing nor worth the several Euros paid for it.  The truth is, as amazing as the Kouign Amann was, this Tart Tatin fell flat on its face (Pardon the pun again!).

Texture wise, it was one goopey affair which left a lot to be desired.  Even though it was mushy, it had some fibrous strands of god knows what.  You can see it in the picture.  Was it apple?  Have you ever eaten a fibrous apple????  Everything was mush, including the puff pastry.  The taste was not good either and after one bite, the pigeons got the rest.

In pastry kitchens, the first apple we reach for for baking would be the Golden Delicious, as its cheap, keeps well and readily available.  Unfortunately, its one of the most tasteless apples for baking but hey, lets all pray to the alter of preservation.

I have no idea what apple this was, as it had neither the texture nor the taste of a cooked Golden Delicious or a Granny Smith.  The apples used for Tarte Tatin’s are traditionally the Calville Blanc d’Hiver, apparently the perfect balance between flavour and texture. Beats me as I’ve never tried it.

Outside of that, we have the above mentioned or the Cox apple, readily available in the UK and it makes a darn good apple tart.  Whatever Philippe Conticini chose to use this day, it was an absymal failure, and I really do not hold him responsible for it, as oftentimes, we are at the mercy of suppliers.  If Mr Apple Deliveryguy comes up and plonks a whole carton of Pink Ladies and says, “Its all we have for the month, Guv’nor”, you are pretty much screwed.  

Of course an ‘artisan’ would never hear of it and refuse to put Tarte Tatin on the menu, but what if you had a small menu like Conticini and customers asking, ‘We want Tarte Tatin dammit!’, whatcha gonna do?  Many a time comes for a pastrychef to make a decision like, “Do I pick up that cake I just dropped, clean it up a bit and redecorate it so we can sell it and not make a $20 loss?”

Now……., this will never happen in my shop, trust me……(Suckers!), but it is a very real decision that occurs a lot more than not.  Bottom line is, this Tarte Tatin sucked big time, though some people have given rave reviews that it was the best cake of the lot.  One complaint about Conticini’s shop is the inconsistency in quality.   Just my luck that I got screwed by the apple guy that day.

Saint Honore

This monstrosity looked more like a catamaran than a Saint Honore and I was quite surprised to see that the eclairs were topped with a thin layer of pate sable before baking.  This approach was highlighted in J.M. Perruchon’s new book, Entremets et Petits Gateaux Fusion, where he exclaims that it was a new approach to give more crust to the puff.   However, the Japanese have been doing this with a modified pate d’amande since forever for their cream puffs.  

The caramel was crunchy and the pastry cream was very nice and not sweet at all, though the vanilla flavour could be a bit stronger (Personal preference…..not the kitchen’s fault).  The chantilly cream had a touch of gelatine in it, but thats how it is, for its the only way to get this cake safely back home in warm weather.

From the pictures, you can see that the puff pastry was slightly overcooked, giving a borderline burnt taste, and as a thin layer of caramel was used to ‘stick’ the eclairs onto it, the moisture from the fridge absorbed by the caramel rendered the puff pastry crunch-less.  Would a light layer of cocoa butter or chocolate be too much to ask for in protecting the top layer of the puff pastry against moisture?  Yes it is an extra step, but for a pastry chef reputed to be so great, surely such a tiny detail would not be overlooked right?

This was a very pedestrian Saint Honore.  It wasn’t good, nor was it bad.  Very underwhelmed at this point.

Chocolate Eclair

Some will say this is a beautiful modern rendition, and others like me will say it is yet another case of needless tinkering of a classic that resulted in another monstrosity.  If one wanted to ‘pimp that Eclair’, you’d only have to look to Fauchon to see how to do it in a great way.  This eclair was awkard to hold, look, as well as to eat.

However, even though the choux paste shell was nothing to write home about, the chocolate mousse was definitely chocolatey but light at the same time.  It was a perfect mousse and not one of those chocolate pastry cream affairs, and not a hint of gelatinous gumminess.  For some time, the La Maison du Chocolat Eclairs were the best in my book, and Conticini’s chocolate mousse edged it out.  

Conclusion

How long this Conticini shop is going to last, I have no idea, but given the mixed reviews, it might be bad news for him.  The 4 cakes here are either really good or really bad, a 50/50 ratio, which is very very dire, considering that his menu is very very small and consist of classics in French pastry repertoire.

Take away the cool shop, the snazzy location and ‘unique’ cake designs and you will find classic cakes either executed really well or really poorly.  How can this happen you ask…this is Philippe Conticini after all.  Beats me really.

Some readers might think I am nit-picking on details and thinking ‘This guy talks so much shit’.   To me, if its good, its good, period. Go eat a Tarte Tatin at Ble Sucre and then go eat Conticini’s one and tell me the difference.  Eat a Saint Honore at Fauchon and compare it to this one.

Fauchon might be a chain store, but their ability to churn out an array of damn good pastries consistently at the highest levels makes you wander about Conticini.    One might argue that Fauchon has more staff and equipment, but on the flip side, Conticini is small and ‘artisanal’ so to speak, and a 50% hit ratio is unacceptable for a high level patisserie in Paris.  

Reports of the inconsistency are true, and fortunately for him, judging by the crowds, people don’t seem to mind nor nit-pick at his cakes.  Should really give it a 2nd chance, but for someone going to Paris for great pastries for the first time, I’d say ditch Conticini and go straight for Fauchon, Pierre Herme or Sadaharu Aoki.  

Ispahan, probably the most copied cake in the world for the past few years and perhaps destined to go down in history as another ‘Gateau St Honore’, or “Opera” or “Black Forest Cake”.  That is, a ‘classic’ cake that everyone has their own version of.

Ask anyone which is their favourite PH cake and the answer will be Ispahan.  Marketing hype/fad or true genius?  In case you are wondering about my tone, I want to clarify that PH is probably the guy who inspired me the most and through tasting and learning everything he does, he has taught so much.  It is a disappointment of mine that I will probably never get a chance to work for him.  

Enough crap talk, on to the cakes, which were eaten in a train station on a circular bench with a cardboard tearout ‘spoon’.  Oh….how I suffer for my art!  If you were the old guy next to me with the dog, I apologise for whipping out my tripod and driving Rover a bit bonkers with the cakes.  

Desire

Components:

1. Wild Strawberry Decoration
2. Lemon Cream
3. Banana and Wild Strawberry Compote
4. Biscuit Joconde
5. Pate Sablee

The wild strawberries were not really in season, so I have no idea where he got them from, but they did not pack much of a taste.  However, the Banana and strawberry compote was surprisingly nice.  Little chunks of banana that still had a bit of texture did not overpower the wild strawberry, which had lots of flavour.  They worked in harmony, one after another.  Really good!

The lemon cream was nice a light, stabilized with just the perfect amount of gelatin.  This cake had been travelling all day and other than being knocked around, it held up perfectly.  This was a really good cake that featured an unsuspecting combo of Banana and Wild Strawberry.  One of the most common, plain Jane ingredients paired with one of the most luxurious.  Incredible!

Ispahan

1. Macaron Shell
2. Raspberry and Lychee pieces
3. Rose and White Chocolate Cream

The rose flavour was subtle and balanced, unlike the horrible copies that taste like a bottle of rose extract.  The lychee pieces inside were tasteless orbs, perhaps frozen IQF lychees?  Canned lychees like those we ate in Chinese restaurants growing up would have given more flavour.

The raspberries were tasteless too.  This is an example of how commercialism trumps reason.  Due to its popularity, customers now demand that Ispahan be sold 365 days a year when the fruits are in season only for 1/4 of it.  But hey, if that brings in the money and keeps the tourists coming, it might be justifiable in my book.  Not in everyone’s book of course, but if one thinks about flavour perception on a normal human tongue/brain, taste is secondary to many other things.  

Of course this does not apply to nit-picking bastards like us who like to taste and taste and pass comments that are borne out of jealousy and envy!  Hands up how many of you pastry chefs reading this wished you had come up with Ispahan!  I can honestly say, without batting both eyelids at the same time, “Not Me!”

Money talks and bullshit walks.  What will PH tell his adoring fans who travel halfway around the world only to find Ispahan off the menu?  Those with artisan souls can flame me for all they want, but PH is a fine example of art meets commercialism.  

Conclusion

Were the cakes world class?  Of course, and I would love to try them again when all these fruits are in season.  PH probably gets a ‘get out of jail free’ card because he is still doing some of the best cakes in the world, right up there with Hidemi Sugino.

Glistening in the cases are his signature cakes, macarons and chocolates, but much overlooked are his other confections.  Cue his Viennoiseries, which were relegated to the bottom-est, farthest left shelf, destined to be ignored by the masses wowed by the fancy patisserie. 

A perfect croissant, beautifully layered and baked.  How these did not fly off the shelves, I will never know, especially since this was almost tea time.

This croissant was ethereally light and flakey, made so by its not-so-buttery dough, which was perfect for a gluttonous pig eating nothing but pastries since the wee hours of the morning.  The interior was soft and slightly sweet, all in all a very very good croissant, up there with the best.  Of course, my Paris No.1 Croissant is from Ble Sucre, but had I eaten this croissant under similar conditions and mood, this could have easily trumped it.

Put Ispahan on anything and it is bound to sell, especially if you are Pierre Herme, so it is only natural that this would migrate to Croissants.  

Covered with a Krispy Kreme like sugar glaze and what tasted like Sosa Raspberry Crispy (Freeze Dried Fruits), this is probably the most unique Croissant I’ve come across.

This croissant is made up with lychees in rose syrup and almond paste flavoured with rose essential oil.  The rose flavour was gentle and blended beautifully with the almond paste, which had a hint of bitter almonds in them.

Though this was not as crisp, its floral notes were wonderful and just sweet enough.  Would have been great if raspberry and the acidity it brings would’ve been included as the Sosa Crispies didn’t do anything.
Alright, so a Kouign Amann is a Breton speciality, and it is pronounced “Kween Aman”  This PH version combined the really sinful, buttery Kouign Amann dough with sharp Blueberry.

This is a heavy heavy pastry, and at its base was a crunchy caramel crust.  Dough it was a bit sticky due to hanging around in the shop for too long, biting it was pure pleasure.  Flakey, crunchy and oh so buttery, beautiful beautiful butter.

The best part was the Blueberry centre, as after that beautiful fat comes a sharp, tang of Blueberries, livening up the tastebuds with a welcome jolt of acidity.    Awesome.

For those who are visiting PH for the first time, go crazy on his signature cakes, and once that is outta your system, try these neglected beauties.  Not all Croissants and Kouign Amanns are made equal, and there are lots of horrible ones out there in Paris.  

It seems like with PH, you really can never go wrong.  How he makes all his stuff so-damn-blood-awesome-a-notch-above-most-others is bewildering indeed.